Boredom

Here are a few things to do when there's nothing to do.

• Buy cryptocurrency and watch your money disappear.

• Pluck out all your eyebrows and draw on new ones. Practice changing your mood by redrawing your eyebrows:

  • Happy,

  • Sad,

  • Angry,

  • Scared,

  • Surprised,

  • Angry,

  • Worried,

  • Angry,

  • Loving,

  • Pissed off, and

  • Angry

• Call a mental health professional and deal with your anger issues.

• Read about animals like whales, monkeys, and kangaroos. Do not read about insects or spiders – they are disgusting.

• Rearrange the furniture and pretend you have a new home. Stub your toes because the furniture is in the wrong place.

• See how many pants you can wear at once.

• Teach your pet a new trick. Get angry because your pet is so dumb.

• Call the mental health pro again.

• Learn to play a musical instrument. If you live in an apartment, avoid the bagpipes.

• Binge-watch Laverne and Shirley while drinking cheap wine.

• Make ashtrays out of paste consisting of dryer lint and Elmer's Glue.

• Get an ant farm and organize a union for the laborers.

• Learn how to give tattoos for fun and profit.

• Start a new hobby. Quit the new hobby and get disappointed that you never follow through.

• Count your nose hairs. Are there more on the left side or the right? Why?

• Regret, plucking your eyebrows.

• Plan a vacation that you cannot afford and will never take.

• Adopt a cat and return it after five days because he is aloof and shows no love.

• Stick a butter knife in a wall outlet and see how long you can hold it.

• Sniff between your dog's toes and wonder why it smells like Fritos.

• Plot to overthrow the government of Mongolia.

• Go online and find out where Mongolia is.

• Buy more cryptocurrency.

• Write an angry letter to the newspaper about the poor quality of the local mental health professionals.

• Make a list of stupid things to do.

• Don't do any of them because you're a lazy slob.